Baby Steps on a Cold Winter's Day

It didn't snow today, but it's not getting past twenty-something, so a frosty pic seemed appropro. For the South, this is hibernating weather. What does that have to do with resolutions and keeping them?

It would be easy to vegetate near our new radiant heater and play on the computer. I could polish off the Christmas cookies or make a big dent in the dark chocolate I received as gifts. And I admit, I didn't blog yesterday, we ate unhealthy holiday food for dinner, and I slept in this morning.

However, making changes in my life is not about punishing myself when I don't strictly stick to my goals. It's about baby steps. Making one little change at a time.

One thing I like about today is going through some memorabilia my hubby found during our Saturday purge. I started a box (leftover from gifts) for each of the kids and told our son he might try sifting through and picking out one to three items he treasures most. Then when we come to another container of oldies but goodies, he can do the same with that. I read somewhere long ago to keep only one receptacle for memories. Then sort it each year, saving only a few items and discarding the rest. You keep the most meaningful objects and don't take up valuable real estate in your home. And it's easy to find and get out from time to time and remember what's important to you.

Samples of what we found: a letter, full of funny misspellings. our daughter wrote in second grade to our son; our son's drawings based on the movie, The Mask; tickets to Knott's Berry Farm and postcards of Hollywood.

This reminds me we need to get a scanner so we can lose the numerous boxes of photos that I will never get into scrapbooks. If I put these on CDs or DVDs, think what space we'll gain. I can do it one picture, one box at a time.

Do you have a place to store a few special memories?

20 REASONS WHY I SPENT MY WEEKEND WITH 6 HIGH-SCHOOLERS
(AND 3 OTHER SEMI-SANE ADULTS)

1. My husband works with the world's largest high school service organization, Key Club, as his avocation

2. He planned a retreat in a 3-story cabin out of town for students in the local club

2. I love being with my husband

3. I love being with the high-schoolers and getting to know them

4. I love being with the other adults and getting to know them better than before

5. Seeing my husband interact with these students and teach them leadership skills, as well as model the Christian walk, is an amazing experience

6. Going to the mountains is fun

7. Spending 12 hours in a warm building with non-working air conditioning is character-building

8. Getting the air conditioning fixed by 10 a.m. on a blazing-hot August Saturday is a great relief

9. Participating in non-threatening question sessions is funny, poignant, and embarrassing
Examples: What was your most embarrassing moment?
What's your favorite book?
What was your happiest moment thus far?
What's your favorite movie?
What person, living or dead, would you most want to meet, and why?

10. Grocery-shopping for the retreat with my husband is a hoot

11. Watching the kids, with their eyes closed, try to escape from our hand-held rope "corral" makes me laugh

12. When you're hungry, nothing tastes like cold Crystal Lite and a fresh tomato turkey sandwich

13. Hiding scavenger hunt envelopes with business owners or clerks or hostesses refines my people skills--My hat's off to the Harley Davidson store, the parking lot at the intersection of 321 and that other highway (up the hill), the Gatlinburg Hard Rock, Aunt Mahalia's Candies, the Pepper Palace, and Ripley's Aquarium for hanging onto the envelopes and joining in the spirit of the hunt!

14. Walking the streets of Gatlinburg while hiding clues keeps me fit and burns off those two Oreos, a peanut butter cup, and the sausage biscuit (among other things) I scarf over the weekend

15. Writing scavenger hunt clues challenges my poetic skills

16. When I'm finished with the hunt prep, hanging out in an air-conditioned bookstore (and making a few purchases for the family) is an unbeatable perk

17. Eating dinner with our group of 10 at Applebee's brings out new zaniness in the kids as they practice fake-slapping one another and one girl acts (convincingly) as if she's stung and crying

18. Watching the weekend's object lessons sink in with the kids gives me a magical feeling
Example: When they were corraled by the rope, held up by the other adults, my husband instructed them to close their eyes and try to find a way out. The rules--they couldn't go over or under or overpower anyone to get out, and they couldn't look. If they needed help, they were to raise their hands. My husband kept talking to them the entire time, repeating these instructions. When only one student was left inside, he stopped the exercise. He explained to them that in life, as in their Key Club experience, we all need to ask for help and often. Some students were quick to catch on to the trick. When they asked for help, an adult would lift the rope and pull them outside the boundaries of the rope.

19. Before and after the retreat began, I enjoyed dining out alone with my husband

20. The feeling of having an impact on the lives of others is priceless

A COMFORTABLE EVENING WITH FRIENDS

Tonight we have reservations for four. Our good friends will join us for dinner in a rustic but attractive setting on a mountain road at a restaurant where the food is elegant, the accommodations small, and the ambiance perfect. The best part of the evening? The company and the conversation.

We love being with this couple. Our kids have grown up together. Their son was our daughter's seventh grade boyfriend, and both, now in college, are good friends still. We even traveled together with a group of families from our kids' school to Germany. We belong to the same church, and the wife and I have sung in the choir together. In fact, she's the one who urged me to join the choir. My husband and hers meet with some other guys from church on Friday mornings (6:00 a.m, to be exact) at the local country cookery just to hang out over breakfast. We spent a rainy Labor Day cruising the river in their pontoon boat and struggled to take the boat out of the rushing water. Our relationship with this couple is comforting and comfortable.

All our times together haven't bubbled with happiness. The four of us bemoan the roller coaster ride of parenting, as we try to figure out when to speak, when to shut up, where to hold on, and where to let go. We cried with them when, without warning, they lost their young daughter. They cried with us when my husband lost each of his parents within a few years. A big part of the comfortableness in a friendship lies in the seasons of life we've weathered together.

Relationships drift in and out of our lives, depending on the phase we're in at the time, the convenience of that relationship, and the effort we're willing to put into it. This couple and my husband and I, now with at least partially-empty nests, have less responsibility regarding our children. But we still have to work at getting together, because we're all busy with our careers, families, and lives. To us, it's worth the effort of picking up the phone, getting off the couch on Friday or Saturday night, and putting aside all the obligations calling our names to spend a comfortable evening with friends.

FROM THE MOUNTAINTOP

I'm in recovery. No, not rehab or anything that scandalous. I'm recovering from a mountaintop experience at Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference.

First, the privilege of attending overwhelmed me. One of eight winners of a Cecil Murphey scholarship through TWV2 (The Writers View Two online discussion/panelists' group for beginning or intermediate Christian writers), I only needed to pay for my transportation and the early arrival night. Six delicious months of anticipation and preparation, and on March 29, hours before dawn, I began my journey.

After minor delays, I arrived at the perfect setting, Mount Hermon Christian Conference Center, just a few miles from Santa Cruz, California. The Lord granted us picturesque cherry and dogwood trees in bloom, set before a backdrop of majestic sequoias and a flawless blue sky and surrounded by crisp cool mornings and evenings with sunny afternoons. The food we ate was plentiful and scrumptious: lots of fresh vegetables and fruit, abundant salads, and healthy snacks at our breaks.

I embraced the adventure of meeting my roommate and online buddy, Donna. We melded like jelly beans in an Easter basket. God gave me a new friend for life. I loved how we cheered each other on through our experiences: She wanted to skip a meeting with an editor; I was nervous about my appointments also. The encouragement concerning conference-related issues, as well as our commonality in our current life-stages, drew us close.

Nothing else I know can compare to the hectic, emotional blur of the conference itself. The schedule of major morning-tracks, workshops, panels, worship services, and socials, interspersed with meals, snacks, appointments and chats with faculty, conversing with fellow writers, and a sprinkle of sleep kept everyone hopping. We heard and wrote down more than anyone could absorb in a week, but it was fun to try. Once I decided to order the entire set of conference messages, some of the pressure was off, and I could enjoy listening without fear of missing anything. Trading business cards as I met other writers and shared our common bonds of Christ and our craft made connections that I will cherish.

We can’t attend every Christian writers’ conference, and we may not all be able to afford Mount Hermon every year; but if any similar opportunity arises anywhere in your vicinity, I highly recommend you go. Whatever your level of expertise or experience, you will make friends for a lifetime and learn more in one weekend than you ever dreamed possible. Who knows? Your investment of time, energy, and money could launch your writing life in a new direction as God unfolds His plan to use your gifts for His glory.

SEPTEMBER MOURN, SEPTEMBER MORN

I remember September 11, 2001, dawned as a gorgeous fall day in the South. Speaking on the phone with the dear director of a local theatre who struggled with melanoma around 8:45 a.m., I was ignorant of what had just occurred. We spoke only briefly, so her warm voice and cheerful spirit encouraged me that she was doing well. When I hung up, I tuned in to the usual morning news show. As I watched horrified, the second plane smashed itself into the Tower. The plot continued to unfold before my eyes as another plane hit the Pentagon and reports came of a fourth plane, downed in Pennsylvania. The unreality of it all mesmerized me and the rest of the country. I watched hour after hour, transfixed and paralyzed. Realism therapy.

Both of my parents flew in different directions that morning, to two different medical meetings, related to their medical device home business. My mom contacted me, and, to my relief, they were both fine, though grounded. She decided, since her meeting was cancelled, to make the most of it. She set out to see the sights of Newport, Rhode Island. My dad's plane landed in Kansas, far short of his meeting site. He met a pastor from Tennessee, who was also stranded and headed in the same direction. They rented a car together and began their journey toward home, talking of the spiritual meaning of the day's events.

My husband was only a phone call across town. We could hardly speak, we were so shocked. Our two children were safe at the local high school, but I worried about them. What emotions engulfed them when they heard the news? Would they call asking to come home? Should I collect them right away? I offered many tears and prayers for my children and their lost innocence, for the souls who had perished, for the bereaved stunned by grief, for our nation linking arms in solidarity.

A few months later, I learned that our dear theatre friend had died within weeks of 9/11. Her bravado lulled me into thinking she would heal. That phone conversation had been our last. Losing her will endure in my memory as part of the day's tragic casualties.

Tears, prayers, and ponderings later, I still have no clear answers why people do such things to other people. God has not answered many of my other 9/11 questions. However, I know He is in control even when things seem out of control. I know that His peace can sift through the smoke of fallen buildings and settle into the lives of those who have lost the most. There is hope among the ashes and eternal life inside the flames. He is Life and gives us life. When our world collapses around us, sometimes Who He is serves as ALL we have to hold on to. It is enough, because HE is enough.

And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into His plans. -- Romans 8:28

For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels won't, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God's love away. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, or where we are--high above the sky, or in the deepest ocean--nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when He died for us.
-- Romans 8:38-39

Scriptures from The Way, The Living Bible Illustrated

Other writers on 9/11:

Refugee from the Culture War
Rocks In My Dryer: My September 11 Story
Mom 2 Mom Connection » Blog Archive » Remembering 9-11: Five Years Later