PURPOSE

Lately I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my purpose and calling in life. For example, can you have different callings at different times of your life? Do we all have the same general purposes, for which we were created by God, with each of us having some specific purposes to fulfill as our unique way of carrying out His plan?

The funny thing I noticed several years ago about the Forty Days of Purpose, during which our church studied The Purpose Driven Life* (Zondervan, 2002) by Rick Warren, was that the truths he wrote were so simple and basic, yet woven together with the foundational Scriptures in this fresh new way to show the five main purposes of man on earth:

1. to worship and please God
2. to live in harmony with God's adoptive family (believers in Christ)
3. to follow Christ and the teachings of God's Word, allowing Him to remake us in God's image
4. to serve God as our gift of love, just as He showed us love in sacrificing His Son
5. to fulfill our mission of making disciples of others, from our families and neighborhoods clear to the other side of the world.

This little book and the small group where we discussed it had a definite impact on my thinking, laying the foundation for the journey I would begin in the fall of 2005.

My life changed drastically with children no longer at home. This was not a time of mourning, because I had pretty much finished that by landmarking every senior activity of our children as "the last time"! (Of course we miss our kids, but we have always known that they would leave and have looked at that as a normal step in the sequence of life.) All of us were as well prepared as we could be to move on to a new phase of life. Aside from spending much more time with my husband, also better in quality because we could be more attentive to each other (which aspects we discovered to be a great boon of the "empty nest") and completing some ongoing household projects (which it was certainly a relief to be able to work on uninterrupted), I no longer had one of the primary purposes in which I had invested most of my time for the past 21 years: parenting!

For the last several months, then, it is not really surprising that I have begun a quest: Karen in search of her midlife Calling! Jesus told us what we could do to get answers from Him:

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." (Luke 11:9&10)

It's become a matter of prayer, a subject of journaling, a topic of research and reading, and the title playing on the marquee of my mind. The surprise has come in the myriad ways He has answered: books and websites I've run across; people, opportunities, and circumstances He has placed in my path, not coincidentally, but because I asked and was seeking His answers, and because He promises always to reward our requests and quests regarding Him and what He asks of us. I agree with Helen Keller that life must be a daring adventure; and whether the rest of my adventure here on earth is long or short, I'm glad it leads to Him. It's a beautiful mountain well worth the climb!

*Used with specific permission granted by RKW Legacy Partners on 4/7/2006

"GOODBYE DOESN'T MEAN FOREVER"

When events that are similar begin to repeat, or I just notice a pattern, to me that's often a sign that God's trying to get my attention. One thing I've noticed recently: the death of a parent experienced by people in my age group. It's now a regular occurrence (guess that means I am no longer considered "young", whatever THAT means!) with people we know. Two people I am associated with in a Christian group in the last few weeks have each lost a parent, and the shockwaves this sent into their lives, even with the comfort and peace of Christ, were dramatic. In both cases, the loss was completely unexpected; this is not to say that it is easier when it IS even somewhat expected, as in the case with both of my husband's parents.

David was a former WWII prisoner of war. He never spoke about it, except in his avoidance of sauerkraut, which apparently was part of the meager diet available to his group as they labored on a local German farm. Many of his health problems which eventually led to his death began with frozen feet and malnutrition during his incarceration. He was a loving and faithful husband and dad, a diligent worker, extremely personable with a great sense of humor, welcomed me as his "daughter", and adored our children. That he had died was the hardest news we ever had to break to our children, who were old enough to understand fully that he was no longer with us here, nor would he be coming back. His wife could only say to our pastor, "My best friend is gone."

Elizabeth kept about the closest thing to a perfect house I've ever seen, yet (with certain stipulations) she let our kids eat in her den while they watched TV. She absolutely doted on them, yet wouldn't let them get away with anything they really shouldn't. (As my son said, she was feisty.) She was always available to her friends and family whenever they needed or wanted her. I remember, when her lung disease began to affect her to the point of not being able to walk or climb steps, she was so worried that she wouldn't be able to attend our children's activities. We had to make sure that she could get to an entrance with easier access, because if her grandkids were playing in the basketball game or marching in the band, she was NOT going to miss it. I have NEVER claimed to be anything resembling the housekeeper she was, yet she never criticized me; instead, she totally accepted and loved me. She told everyone I was the daughter she'd never had. Our children were in high school when Hospice was called in. The day she slipped into a coma, they left their classes for a little while to come and hold her hand and say good-bye. We each had our time with her, and my husband stayed the night till she at last let go and left this world.

No, I don't yet know what it's like to lose my own parents, but after losing these two, I have a pretty good idea. It's sad, it's empty, it's a longing to have back with you the two people who shared your infancy and youth and watched all your football games and worked their fingers to the bone to get you through college and cried at your wedding and laughed at the funny things your children said. It's remembering all the times you shared as a family and knowing they will not be having you over to celebrate every time there is a birthday in the family. The place you used to go on Sundays after church or to have an Easter dinner and egg hunt or to share that special meal at Christmas with antsy kids who can't wait to open gifts and get bored listening to the parents and grandparents relive all the Christmases preceding, not to mention all the other funny family stories, that special family place, is no more.

Just a few days ago I overheard someone say, "I don't know how people go through this who don't know the Lord." Her father-in-law, after a brief but serious illness, had passed away. How many times have I thought just that? He truly is the God of all comfort. He does bind up the wounds of the broken-hearted. He promises He will never leave us or forsake us, and though we are hurting and feeling somewhat lost without the person on earth who most cared whether we lived or died, we know that, as in the case of my dear in-laws, they are with Jesus. Someday we will be with Him also, and what a family reunion we'll enjoy! It will be better than even the greatest times we celebrated with them in this world.

CHOICES

We make so many each day that we are barely conscious of them. We almost have too many when it comes to food or technology, clothing or cars, in the culture I live in, anyway. Yes, I'm talking about choices. We don't give it much thought when we lay out the clothing we're going to wear to work or anywhere else - ha, ladies, you were about to question me on this! Sure we fuss and fret over what we're going to wear, but we don't actually say to ourselves, "I really have a choice about this." (Probably in most cases, far too many alternatives!)

Some of the subconscious, habitual choices, such as what clothing to wear for which occasion are not particularly earth-shattering. But what about some of the subtle habit-forming decisions we make which DO change the course of our lives, bit by bit, step by step? The "little white lies". The excuses for not doing something we should do. The procrastinating of working on our gifts and dreams that surely have been bequested by God. I can't remember the entire quote nor where to attribute it, but someone spoke of beginning by sowing a thought, leading to an act, then a habit, and eventually it becomes our destiny. Small beginnings, but life-changing results.

Consider these choices:

"Choose you whom you will serve this day . . . but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." - Joshua 24:15

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the ungodly,
nor stand in the way of sinners,
nor sit in the seat of scoffers.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
- Psalm 1:1&2

By faith he [Moses] chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward.
- Hebrews 11:25&26

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
who , being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
He humbled Himself
and became obedient to death,
even death on a cross!
- Philippians 2:5-8

Maybe I need to be aware of the choices I am making all day long: to practice His presence, and to consciously choose Whom I am serving; whether I am living as a servant, THE SERVANT of all time, would live; where I am walking, sitting and standing and what I am delighting in; which reward I am choosing - the pleasures of sin for a season, or the glory and reward of obeying and honoring God.